awake.

awake.

last night I had this word tattooed onto my wrist. For those who are curious of what it means to me, continue reading.

I decided I wanted this word as a tattoo in the fall of 2010. I got the idea from Ephesians 5. In verse 14 it says "for the light makes everything visible. This is why it is said,
    “Awake, O sleeper,
      rise up from the dead,
      and Christ will give you light.” 

If you read the whole chapter, it's all about living a life the glorifies God - examples: living a life of love, making the most of every opportunity, turning from darkness and walking in the light. 
(For it to really click in your head, Try reading it from The Message translation/paraphrase.   Ephesians 5 - The Message Translation)

I wanted this word tattooed in 2010 for the purpose of reminding myself how I should be living my life - following all the things that are in that chapter.

Today, in 2012, this word means even more to me.

In the shortest explanation possible and necessary to get my point across, 2011 was both the best and the worst year of my life. I started the year with everything I "needed" and ended it with a very broken heart, damaged friendships, no place to live, and a wide open unknown future in front of me.

Since then, there have been many moments where I have had no idea of what to do with myself - I felt like I was living in a blur and had lost everything that I had actually cared about or worked for.

This word "awake" has been one of the things that gotten me through.
When I look at my wrist:
I remember awake.
Awake and decide what I am living for. My own pursuit of happiness? Or God's path for me?
Awake and realize that I will never get this day back. I can live it bitterly and watch it speed by or live it with gratefulness, thankfulness, and passion for the unknown.
Awake and realize that yes, people may hurt me, people may let me down, my dreams may get absolutely crushed into a million pieces, but...
Awake and keep moving forward, not holding onto the past, but learning from it and trusting that God has something better for me.
And finally, even when I fail completely and spend an entire day being bitter over things I cannot control, refusing to be thankful for the thousands of blessings that God has blessed me with, selfish and distrusting, it is a reminder to awake and remember that Gods faithfulness, grace, and mercies are new every morning.